If you loved me you'd let me go
by Just-call-me-Joe
Summary: Josh a single father and lawyer living in New York? A bit odd but just what came to mind...


Disclaimer: None of the characters who appear regularly on the West wing are mine but Kate and Zach et al are mine so just ask!  
  
Archive: Wherever just let me know so I can visit  
  
Notes: I know this is a little different from most other post-Bartlett fics but hey, it's just what came into my mind!  
  
Feedback to cj_westwingnuts@yahoo.co.uk  
  
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"I award custody of this child to Mrs Hannah Yates with visitation rights for Mr Michael Yates every other weekend and all school holidays. Thank you. Court is adjourned."  
  
With that I sighed and snapped my briefcase shut.  
  
"I'm sorry Mike. I really thought we had a good chance with this judge" I said to my heart broken client.  
  
"That's ok Josh." He replied shaking my hand "I knew it was a long shot but thanks for all your help." With one last look at his estranged wife who was smiling and celebrating with her boyfriend he trudged wearily out of the court.  
  
I gathered my things together and, pulling on my coat, I left the courthouse and braved the bitter February weather. I'd lived in New York for many winters now but this was unusually cold. The snow was swirling around me and the wind was almost cutting my face as I ran into the nearest subway station and jumped on the train. Sat down on the subway I had my first chance to think about my day.  
  
I was genuinely sorry for Mike he had been fighting for months to keep custody of his daughter who had been left with him after her mother and his wife had run away across the country to follow her lover. Once she'd returned with her new partner in tow she'd demanded custody of little Sarah. Mike had fought all the way but today's verdict looked like the final one.  
  
It reminded me why I rarely took custody cases like this one. It reminded me too much of how close I'd come to being in Mike's situation. I was one of the lucky ones. My wife just left. No big scene I'd just woken up one morning to find her gone. I'd assumed that she was going to fight me for custody of our daughter Katy but she didn't. A few months later I was served with divorce papers which I signed and returned and I have heard nothing from her since. I knew where she was and roughly what she was doing but Katy was 14 now and as her mother had left 13 years ago and she couldn't remember her she never asked about her so I didn't have to tell her.  
  
I was shaken out of my day dream when the train jerked to a halt and I clambered out and out back into real life. I couldn't help smiling as I emerged into the beautiful west side of Manhattan that I had come to call home. Even in a February blizzard it still looked beautiful and full of charm.  
  
I made my quickly across the road into the Franklin D. Roosevelt prep school. It was in a beautiful old building and Katy and I had both loved it from the moment we were first shown round. I walked quickly up the stairs towards the auditorium at the top of the school and as I entered it I heard my name being called. I looked around and saw my friends Toby and CJ Ziegler sitting a few rows back and calling me over. I made my way through the sea of people towards them and plonked down into a chair that CJ had had her bag on.  
  
We'd drifted apart after leaving the White House but when Katy had started elementary school her first friend was Zach Ziegler. They'd been best friends ever since and I'd rediscovered my wonderful friendship with his parents. Katy and Zach had grown up in each others pockets doing everything together from Soccer to ballet though soccer had been discarded by both of them as they, much to Toby's chagrin, had grown into gifted ballet dancers. Just as I'd sat down the lights went down and the principle walked onto the stage at the front.  
  
"Good evening and welcome Roosevelt prep's annual winter show and I'd like to thank so many of you for coming out on such a horrible night. Now without any further ado let's get onto the first act. Opening for us tonight we have Freshmen Kate Lyman and Zach Ziegler dancing to Vivaldi's four seasons."  
  
A huge cheer went up from our section as Katy and Zach walked onto the stage. As the music started and they begun to dance I was entranced. I'd seen Katy and Zach dance before but their dancing seemed to have risen to a new level since arriving at Roosevelt prep. As I watched the stage I couldn't believe that this beautiful young lady was my daughter. She looked exactly like me from her think brown curly hair to her deep dimples in her cheeks but there was something in her spirit that was inexplicably from her mother. She had my short stature which meant that she danced well with Zach who had his mother's tall, slim frame but his father's dark Jewish features. I stole a glance at CJ. Her eyes were filled with the sort of pride that you only ever see in a mother's eyes and I wondered if Katy ever missed that. After they'd finished the show was fabulous entertainment with everything from slightly off key singers to some rather misjudged stand up comedy.  
  
After the show we finally managed to catch up with our offspring who were bubbling over with excitement.  
  
"Hey baby!" I said enveloping my daughter in a hug "you were fantastic!"  
  
"Hey are you guy's hungry?" CJ asked "we could all go and get something to eat"  
  
"I don't think so tonight but thanks for the offer" I replied  
  
"Oh please daddy?" When my daughter looked at me with those huge brown eyes I found it difficult to deny her anything but tonight I had to stand firm  
  
"Not tonight honey. We have food at home and I have a ton of work to get through if we're going to Jason's bar mitzvah tomorrow and then out to long island for your ballet recital on Sunday."  
  
"Can't we just blow off Jason's Bar mitzvah? You can do your work tomorrow and I can go shopping with Lilla and Naomi." I laughed as I liked this suggestion. Jason Nussbaum was a poisonous child but his parents were good clients of mine and when I needed work they had always been on hand to send some my way. Attending their son's bar mitzvah was the least that I could do for them.  
  
"No I'm sorry baby but you'll see Lilla and Naomi at the recital on Sunday."  
  
"Ok I guess. Bye Zach" she said hugging her oldest friend "Bye Mr and Mrs Ziegler."  
  
Once I'd said my goodbyes we made our way back to our small homely apartment and after a quick supper of Spaghetti Carbonara Katy went off to her room to do her homework and I took my pile of paperwork into the sitting room and flicked on CNN.  
  
"In other news our new president finally got to move into the White House today after the extensive repairs needed due to the flooding in residence three months ago were completed. President Seaborn and his family spent most of the day moving in and are said to be settling in well."  
  
I tensed as the screen was filled with pictures of the president and first lady at his inauguration a month ago filled the screen. There they were the two exes in my life, my ex best friend and my ex wife standing side by side. There were certain unspoken rules that applied to best friends and wives and I was pretty sure that Sam and Donna had broken all of them when they broke my heart 13 ½ years ago,  
  
I was also tense because I felt that that should be me up there but it wasn't. When Donna left I had been a popular junior senator but after she went I had to give up the long and erratic hours that went with the job in order to become a full time father. I'd retrained as a proper attorney at law and moved to New York in order to get away from not only the place with so many painful memories but also to try and escape from my reputation as Bartlett's bulldog.  
  
"Hey Daddy, do you mind if I switch over? They're showing a new production of Coppelia the other channel." I was shaken out of my daydream by the voice of daughter and flung back to reality.  
  
"Sure sweety." I replied walking towards my small study.  
  
As I shut the door I knocked a pile of books and as I went to pick them up I noticed that a piece of paper had fallen out of one of them.  
  
Dear Josh,  
  
By the time you read this I'll be gone. I'm sorry it has ended like this but what Sam and I have is stronger than both of us. We owe it to each other to explore it. Look after Kate. I know she'll make us proud. Don't try to find me. If you really loved me you'd let me go.  
  
Donna  
  
I folded up the paper and slipped it back inside the book.  
  
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Love it? Hate it? Does it need more chapters or should it just be a standalone? All feedback to cj_westwingnuts@yahoo.co.uk please! 


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